You see? You see what commercials we have to put up with?

Give me strength.

This will be the last thing about Batman, OK?

So my weekend comes to an end. Friday and Saturday were my days off this week and I can say I did almost nothing with the two days. Having said that Greg cooked myself and Rosie an awesome curry on Thursday even though we were half an hour late getting to his house. And before you two say anything, yes I did enjoy it, but I'm not becoming a vegetarian any time soon. I'm sorry. Well actually I'm not sorry since bacon tastes like heaven in meat form. So without further ado let's roll on the highlights:

- Neither myself nor Greg will be called on for agony uncle services any time soon. That's my prediction anyway.

- Tim Burton's Batman was great on the big screen. The crowd came replete with costumed fans; I counted two Harley Quinns, one Catwoman and a Poison Ivy. I also ate my own bodyweight in popcorn. Good times.

- Wolverine is a bad film. A bad film.

- The only way to watch Match of the Day in Canada is to get your parents to point their webcam at the TV. Halfway through I realised it was being pointed at the smallest TV in the house though.

So yeah all go in Vancouver. I realised it's been a while since I saw any wildlife so I might head to Stanley Park before it gets too cold. And I promise the next update with have photos. I know how all 4 of you appreciate a nice photo.

As if I was ever going to go as a Moomin

Fat chance. Luckily sense has prevailed. All I need now is to work out how to get a Geek Pie haircut and a couple of Bluetooth headsets. Of course pictoral evidence will be provided when the time comes, assuming I even remember it's Halloween.

I'm sure I started writing this with some intent but right now I'm fairly certain it's just out of pure boredom. So let's skip to the highlights:

- Myself and Greg deciding the characters from McDonaldland are a bizarre group. One is just a burger with arms (Mayor McCheese) and in the words of Greg, Grimace (the purple one) is "like something from a post-apocalyptic Sesame Street"

- The cinema on Granville is showing Tim Burton's Batman on Friday, $10 which includes popcorn and a drink. I don't care what you think, THAT'S exciting

- PS3s look like arse when you play them through a composite lead

- Every week it gets harder to think of something to do for the poll. So this week I've given up. It's up to you

I bought a PS3. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Don't worry, it's all part of a plan. Throughout the year I surround myself with needless and expensive items, then at the end of my visa I sell them to fund some exciting travel adventures. Or a Batman suit. I haven't decided yet. There's pros and cons.

Nothing much else to report to be honest. I discovered hockey (ice hockey to the folks back home) is pretty popular in Vancouver. Like really popular. Way more than I'd anticipated and probably in the same way North Americans experience football when visiting the UK. It's not really a sport I could ever harbour any strong feelings for to be honest, I don't see the appeal. Although I think I must be doing my bit to fit in when one person this week didn't realise I was English until I told them. Am I really developing a Canadian accent? Personally I had no idea I was, in fact I strongly doubt I am, but say the word 'bucks' and try to sound English. I dare you.

Difficult to believe it's been over 3 months now since I left a sunny Heathrow with very little sleep and a couple of bags. Of course this also means I have less than 9 months left and I have a feeling that time will pass pretty quickly. So in the spirit of awful predictions (sponsored by Tomorrow's World) here are some things I reckon might happen between now and next June:

- I'll come to hate the Winter Olympics. Yeah they look great and everything and the city is clearly getting a facelift but working in retail means it'll be a nightmare from start to finish. Thank God in total it's on for less than 4 weeks.

- The first time I play football will end with me wheezing and comatose on the sidelines, listening to my teammates shout "I thought the English invented the game?"

- The blog will be full of entries moaning about the Canadian winter and how much I hate the way grit attachs itself to my trousers and shoes

- I'll still have no Slurm

- I'll consider training myself to be a tiler or plasterer to stay in the country

Wow reading that back it all seems a bit miserable doesn't it? I think this is what's know in the trade as 'anti-jinxing'. And being miserable is cool these days, just look at Charlie Brooker or Yahtzee's Zero Punctuation reviews.

Jesus Christ my phone camera is rubbish

It's not even my Canadian phone (Samsung Chump 200) and it's pants. Not wholly surprising given that the lense is about 2mm wide, but still I expected better.

So as a prelude I decided to make a bit of use of my day off today and took some photos of downtown from various bridges and points of vantage. Well when I say made use of my day what I really mean is I happened to have my phone on me while Rosie and I went over to the southern mainland to go to a costume shop. And even then we didn't make it in time, but still one Wendy's meal later I was a few photos richer.

Looking down from Granville St to the apartments and gardens of Beach Crescent.

The many apartment blocks of downtown. The tall centre building is the Sheraton Wall Centre. My building is basically behind that.

 

The police impound! Probably the only one in the world with a view of 2 stadiums and several mountains.

 

To the left is the casino, and the ball-shaped object is the Telus Science Centre. The large apartment complex on the right is the start of the 2010 Olympic village.

 

BC place from the Cambie St Bridge. The realtor's ad for the apartment block on the right has several listings for the discerning millionaire.

I also took one at night but I'm not even going to bother with that one. Imagine if you turned on half a dozen torches and threw them randomly into your garden at 11pm and took a non-flash photo of the result. That's basically how it looks.

This update is brought to you by diabetic coma-inducing snacks

I never really considered myself immune to strange happenings; I like to think I can at least have a half-decent story out them. But when we saw a guy walking down Granville with his cat on his head (well, his baseball cap to be exact) I mentioned that he came in the shop and was not unknown the staff there. Instantly Greg said "Why didn't you mention this earlier??" and I'd genuinely forgotten there is a guy who takes his cat around on his head, the cat acting pretty casually throughout, when he is out and about. To be honest it is pretty strange but fair play to the guy, although I'd like to know how it was that he actually discovered this was something that the cat would tolerate and even appear to be happy to do.

Some other things I've learnt this week include:

- Telling Rosie that there is a skunk behind her when there isn't, is actually not funny. It also loses its shock value when she has read your blog mentioning you do this.

- You can make cakes similar to Rice Krispie Squares with Fruit Loops. Well I can't obviously, but other people can and they taste pretty good. Although eating more than one will probably make you almost instantly blind.

- Quizno's new menu is awesome

- Crazy ads will appear on the blog depending on what I've written.

The last one is pretty good, although I've mentioned Slurm a few times now and it still hasn't told me where I can buy some. I don't want to mention the ones I don't like or understand since that perpetuates the process. I might actually start treating it as a wishlist.

Free Beer in Vancouver, cheap Batman costumes, people who have heard of Nathan Barley, people who walk around with Wolverines on their heads. At least one of those has to land.

Damn immigrants. Wait what?

The BBC are reporting that fewer people are moving abroad since the start of the global recession. Well you know me, always one to buck the trend. One thing did stand out:

"Remittances - money sent by migrants to family members back home - were found to have declined."

What am I a bank or something? I can barely gather enough cash to live out my glamorous and exciting lifestyle as it is. The last thing I can afford to do is send money back home so my parents can get an all day breakfast at Morrison's twice a week. Unless the money I provide goes towards more Slurm. You thieves.

Roads? Where we're going we don't need...roads

A happy evening was spent by myself, Greg, Rosie and Chloe at Templeton's last night (although we didn't get free drinks this time, maybe the magic is wearing off?) and it was good to catch up after a week or so of not seeing each other. Well except for Greg, I pressed ganged him into heading over to the Best Buy on Cambie to nerd out at the TVs and laptops earlier in the day. We also had fun wandering around the smallest Toys R Us I've ever been in (read: not the size of an out-of-town MFI) until we realised that two grown men walking around the aisles mocking Hannah Montana bikes probably isn't cool.

After the meal we impulse-walked all 7 miles of Stanley Park's perimeter and once again enjoyed Downtown Vancouver's awesome night-time views. The conversation moved onto what we might do when the year in Canada eventually comes to an end. We both had a few ideas of what we might want to do and what we might end up doing but the consensus was that it's just too far ahead to plan. And moreso than that for me is that I don't want to plan for that far in the future. This time last year I would never have believed I'd be living and working in Canada so I want to preserve the mystery of 2010/11 for another few months at least. The most surprising and random adventures are always the best ones so we'll see what happens between now and next year.

There's only a one thing I can say for certain; I'll be back in England next June to see us lift the World Cup. Well I'll be back in England anyway.

GI Joe guy came back

For those that don't know a guy came in the shop a couple of times recently and started telling us about weapons that mankind have never seen, quoting GI Joe. Well he came back on Sunday (realised he only comes in Sundays, maybe it's his religion) and had some new material. I can't remember exactly what it was but it something about eyes and ears being everywhere and the advent of technology. And then as he went to leave he turned back and said "Thank God for strip clubs". I think I like this guy.

I actually managed to see The Final Destination and it was everything I thought it would be. Not as good as the first three, obviously they've got progressively worse but then sequels always do. But where else can you see someone taken out by a Nascar tyre in 3D? Nowhere, that's where. So in summary don't go unless you like crap films.

Spoke to my sisters last week and where Vickie was frantically trying to find a holiday to book for the next day. Fair enough but I had to remind her I was calling from Vancouver and didn't fancy listening to the tap of a keyboard and her reading out that a week in Disneyland Paris would cost 3 grand. And I don't mind naming and shaming since I was let down with promises of a United shirt signed by Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Shirt = not delivered.

Nothing much else to report other than the fact you're probably only reading this because Gmail is down. Seems when that happens the whole internet shuts down, in fact I'm off to Wendy's to get some of their hot wings.