Three Things About England:
1) The "helpful" writing on the roads in London telling you to Look Right or to Look Left don't actually help, because I see Look and then look the way I normally do (and then I metaphorically smack my forehead and look the correct way). However, "Look both ways before crossing the street" is very good advice. Thanks, Mom and Dad.
2) Fruit Loops are £6 ($10) here. Lucky Charms are roughly the same price. I don't even want to know what the price is for Golden Grahams. (Edit: Also $10.) Also you can only get them in Speciality Shops because they were discontinued here for being unhealthy. Is anyone else surprised?
3) Planning for any sort of weather in England is highly inadvisable. If it looks like it will rain and the weather forecast says it will rain, it will not rain. That coat that you brought with you will instead become a burden as you roast in the humid heat. Alternatively, if it says it will be sunny and clear your clothing will be soaked by the torrential rain. I blame the lack of mountains.
3a) The lack of mountains is in fact the cause of global warming. Also the cause of the next ice age. Essentially I have determined that mountains are good.
Sunday, 12 September 2010
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Accents, line drying, and paths Oh My!
Someone recently asked me what the main difference between England and Canada was, and it took me a while to find an answer. Because really, when you get right down to it there isn’t much of a difference. People speak differently, and it’s a generally accepted practice to hang your clothes up rather than use a dryer (very strange), and the outlets are different. But people are pretty much the same. So it took me a while to come up with an answer, but once I did it was fairly obvious: Asian food.
In England, there is a distinct lack of good Asian food. I had a California roll at a Japanese restaurant the other day, and what with it being primarily imitation crab and rice I was expecting a fairly low price. Not so. £5 for a low-quality roll, dear god. I may never eat sushi here again. (Okay, that’s probably a lie. I just won’t eat good sushi.)
Speaking of food, I’m having a bit of cognitive dissonance between “chips” and “crisps.” Also between “dollars” and “pounds,” although on that I’m getting slightly better. Half the time I notice it myself. Obviously, the other half I don’t. Oh well. (JP: I notice it the other half as well.)
And continuing my misadventures with toes, the other night I slammed my foot into a wooden staircase. In my defense, the steps are a lot smaller here than I'm used to. Also it was dark, and the wood was a hard wood, and also did I mention that it wasn’t my fault in any way? In any case, all that was required was a band-aid and not a trip to the emergency room to reset a broken toe, so I’m ahead so far.
Yesterday we took a trip into the unexpected dilapidated factory that was on our route to the store. (Note: the last half of that sentence should be read with sarcasm quotes.) What should have been a 30 minute trip was instead a two hour operation that involved a lot of prickly plants. It started out well enough, with a brilliant observation from the obviously smart one.
Me: “That path looks well trodden. What’s that way?”
The answer that sensible people would know is “Nowhere good.” From there it went downhill. My shoes got very muddy, and there was an unfortunate incident with my jeans and some kind of red dye. Luckily, we arrived home with the newspaper that we’d first set off to get.
The rest of the day’s adventures included being confused by quiche, tin foil, and ovens in general. I really think that I should be smarter than this, but when it comes to cooking we are sadly at a loss. The one good thing is that we are fairly alright at cooking things out of a freezer, in a very general and loose sense of the word “cook.” (As I was typing this I was handed a plate of food that JP made. While it did come from the freezer, it’s also very good. It contains vegetables! Seems like I’m the only one that is completely hopeless.)
One thing I’ve noticed is that television here seems to be primarily a mixture of Top Gear and Friends. Top Gear is interesting, in that I know nothing about cars except that I like them fast and that the challenges are amusing. This is really all I need out of TV. The Friends thing was surprising. It’s taken the schedule that Seinfeld always had in Canada, which is to say that it was always on some channel three times a day. Right now there’s some random show on that I cannot recall the name of, but it looks like a soap opera. The word “chav” springs to mind; now all I need is a better understanding of the term.
In England, there is a distinct lack of good Asian food. I had a California roll at a Japanese restaurant the other day, and what with it being primarily imitation crab and rice I was expecting a fairly low price. Not so. £5 for a low-quality roll, dear god. I may never eat sushi here again. (Okay, that’s probably a lie. I just won’t eat good sushi.)
Speaking of food, I’m having a bit of cognitive dissonance between “chips” and “crisps.” Also between “dollars” and “pounds,” although on that I’m getting slightly better. Half the time I notice it myself. Obviously, the other half I don’t. Oh well. (JP: I notice it the other half as well.)
And continuing my misadventures with toes, the other night I slammed my foot into a wooden staircase. In my defense, the steps are a lot smaller here than I'm used to. Also it was dark, and the wood was a hard wood, and also did I mention that it wasn’t my fault in any way? In any case, all that was required was a band-aid and not a trip to the emergency room to reset a broken toe, so I’m ahead so far.
Yesterday we took a trip into the unexpected dilapidated factory that was on our route to the store. (Note: the last half of that sentence should be read with sarcasm quotes.) What should have been a 30 minute trip was instead a two hour operation that involved a lot of prickly plants. It started out well enough, with a brilliant observation from the obviously smart one.
Me: “That path looks well trodden. What’s that way?”
The answer that sensible people would know is “Nowhere good.” From there it went downhill. My shoes got very muddy, and there was an unfortunate incident with my jeans and some kind of red dye. Luckily, we arrived home with the newspaper that we’d first set off to get.
The rest of the day’s adventures included being confused by quiche, tin foil, and ovens in general. I really think that I should be smarter than this, but when it comes to cooking we are sadly at a loss. The one good thing is that we are fairly alright at cooking things out of a freezer, in a very general and loose sense of the word “cook.” (As I was typing this I was handed a plate of food that JP made. While it did come from the freezer, it’s also very good. It contains vegetables! Seems like I’m the only one that is completely hopeless.)
One thing I’ve noticed is that television here seems to be primarily a mixture of Top Gear and Friends. Top Gear is interesting, in that I know nothing about cars except that I like them fast and that the challenges are amusing. This is really all I need out of TV. The Friends thing was surprising. It’s taken the schedule that Seinfeld always had in Canada, which is to say that it was always on some channel three times a day. Right now there’s some random show on that I cannot recall the name of, but it looks like a soap opera. The word “chav” springs to mind; now all I need is a better understanding of the term.
Friday, 25 June 2010
Quaint English (blank)
My first week in England is coming to a close, and so far it’s been a busy one. I arrived on Saturday, and then on Sunday walked around Ipswich for a few hours. On Monday JP and I went into London and did a few touristy things, one of which was exploring the British Museum. I’d never been, and I’ll need to go back a few dozen times to see everything. By which time they’ll have changed all the exhibits, and I get to do the whole thing over again. That same day I opened up a bank account with the chattiest banker I’ve ever experienced. It took an hour all in, and probably should have been only half that. Later on we walked across the Jubilee Bridge into South Bank, and saw the Globe Theatre. It was very cool.
Tuesday a few of us went crabbing up in Walberswick. In a technological feat of amazingness, we used string to catch them and bacon as bait. Surprisingly, it worked well. We also had High Tea, and I have been assured that this is a traditional Tuesday pastime. I have unreliable sources though, so I am reluctant to trust this information. On Wednesday I indulged in yet another traditional English pastime and watched the football. We were playing Slovenia and I was showing my English colours in an attempt to not get lynched before my first week was through. Also because it gave me a good starting point when I proceeded to play silly games on a phone instead of watching the game. Luckily the people I was watching with didn’t take my desertion to heart.
Thursday JP and I went into London again, this time to meet up with a few dearly missed friends. Highlights of the trip included a street of books, the British Library (Beowulf! The Magna Carta! Illuminated Manuscripts!), Billy Elliot, and to finish we had dinner at the Texas Embassy. There was a meat scare, but four hours later we’re fine so it’s probably nothing. (Hopefully.)
Lowlights included the hotel, the hotel staff, the hotel fire alarm, and the hotel breakfast. To cap off that visit, as we left the hotel we saw a police car in the car park.
On the whole there were quite a few police around, more than I’d seen in Vancouver on a typical day. Then again, there were more people on any main street in London than you’d see in the busiest part of Vancouver on a Friday night. So that was exciting.
I’m enjoying the quiet of tonight and the promised quiet of tomorrow. It’s been a busy week, and I plan to enjoy the peace while it lasts. In the coming days we’ll be travelling to Cambridge to see if we want to live there, and after that who knows?
Tuesday a few of us went crabbing up in Walberswick. In a technological feat of amazingness, we used string to catch them and bacon as bait. Surprisingly, it worked well. We also had High Tea, and I have been assured that this is a traditional Tuesday pastime. I have unreliable sources though, so I am reluctant to trust this information. On Wednesday I indulged in yet another traditional English pastime and watched the football. We were playing Slovenia and I was showing my English colours in an attempt to not get lynched before my first week was through. Also because it gave me a good starting point when I proceeded to play silly games on a phone instead of watching the game. Luckily the people I was watching with didn’t take my desertion to heart.
Thursday JP and I went into London again, this time to meet up with a few dearly missed friends. Highlights of the trip included a street of books, the British Library (Beowulf! The Magna Carta! Illuminated Manuscripts!), Billy Elliot, and to finish we had dinner at the Texas Embassy. There was a meat scare, but four hours later we’re fine so it’s probably nothing. (Hopefully.)
Lowlights included the hotel, the hotel staff, the hotel fire alarm, and the hotel breakfast. To cap off that visit, as we left the hotel we saw a police car in the car park.
On the whole there were quite a few police around, more than I’d seen in Vancouver on a typical day. Then again, there were more people on any main street in London than you’d see in the busiest part of Vancouver on a Friday night. So that was exciting.
I’m enjoying the quiet of tonight and the promised quiet of tomorrow. It’s been a busy week, and I plan to enjoy the peace while it lasts. In the coming days we’ll be travelling to Cambridge to see if we want to live there, and after that who knows?
Monday, 14 June 2010
The end?
So here I am. Back where I started. The Vancouver SWAP Office. At least this time I'm not panicking about finding a job, well not in this country anyway.
It is amazing to think that I have about 24 hours left in Canada. I've really not had time to think about it; despite not being at work the past week has probably been one of the busiest since I arrived. Heading down to Seattle, racing karts in Richmond (eventually; the place was, shall we say, hard to find), packing my frankly ridiculous amounts of stuff away, the list goes on. I genuinely can't believe I've managed to fit all of my stuff into two bags. I knew buying those night vision goggles was a mistake.
It's been an incredible year. There really was nothing that could have gone better, and those tiny things that could were inconsequential. I'm not going to go through the highlights of the trip since that would be quite boring and also very lengthy. I thought I would go for a year and see somewhere different, experience new things and do something I'd never do again. And I did all that, but I also found somewhere I'd quite happily live for the rest of my life. Even if it does mean watching football at 9 o'clock in the bloody morning. Someone told me that I now call Canada 'home', which I disagreed with. It's not that it's my home, that will always be England, but it's that I connect more with the lifestyle here, I prefer the surroundings. And ultimately, I like it more. I'd love to come back and live one day, and with a bit of luck I will.
To everyone I've met in Vancouver; you're all awesome. I don't think I met anyone I didn't like and I will miss you all. Without all of you it would not have been the year it has and I hope I will see you all again very soon.
As for the future of the blog, I've sent Jen an invite to be an admin on the site. I may update it from time to time with travelling news so I doubt this will be my last entry. But Jen will be the first to admit that correspondence isn't her strong suit so if the frequency of her entries don't meet your expectations, you may want to lower your expectations.
Erm, yeah. That's it. Bye.
It is amazing to think that I have about 24 hours left in Canada. I've really not had time to think about it; despite not being at work the past week has probably been one of the busiest since I arrived. Heading down to Seattle, racing karts in Richmond (eventually; the place was, shall we say, hard to find), packing my frankly ridiculous amounts of stuff away, the list goes on. I genuinely can't believe I've managed to fit all of my stuff into two bags. I knew buying those night vision goggles was a mistake.
It's been an incredible year. There really was nothing that could have gone better, and those tiny things that could were inconsequential. I'm not going to go through the highlights of the trip since that would be quite boring and also very lengthy. I thought I would go for a year and see somewhere different, experience new things and do something I'd never do again. And I did all that, but I also found somewhere I'd quite happily live for the rest of my life. Even if it does mean watching football at 9 o'clock in the bloody morning. Someone told me that I now call Canada 'home', which I disagreed with. It's not that it's my home, that will always be England, but it's that I connect more with the lifestyle here, I prefer the surroundings. And ultimately, I like it more. I'd love to come back and live one day, and with a bit of luck I will.
To everyone I've met in Vancouver; you're all awesome. I don't think I met anyone I didn't like and I will miss you all. Without all of you it would not have been the year it has and I hope I will see you all again very soon.
As for the future of the blog, I've sent Jen an invite to be an admin on the site. I may update it from time to time with travelling news so I doubt this will be my last entry. But Jen will be the first to admit that correspondence isn't her strong suit so if the frequency of her entries don't meet your expectations, you may want to lower your expectations.
Erm, yeah. That's it. Bye.
Monday, 7 June 2010
Decisions, decisions
This blog has been documenting my foreign affair for the last twelve months and it's been fun to write and on occasion, read back. I would say I've shared the good times and the bad times but there haven't really been any bad times. But as my last full week in Vancouver trundles into view it's soon going to be time where the adventure ends.
Or is it? I've not really considered what to do with the blog when I leave Canada so let's see what you think. So far the options I can see are:
- Keep writing it back in the UK. Not sure what it would be about though. Stuff that reminded me of Canada? "Hey I crossed the road in the right place today. Just like Vancouver".
- Stop writing. Interesting option, just keeping it as a record of my journey over the year. Kind of like a time capsule, only a really boring one.
- Use it as a holiday/travelling blog. Since I'm sure I'll do more of both it might be good to chronicle that stuff.
- Give it to Jen. Since she will be doing the same thing I did, except from Canada to the UK, it might be good to get a fresh perspective on British life.
So vote away my friends, vote away.
Or is it? I've not really considered what to do with the blog when I leave Canada so let's see what you think. So far the options I can see are:
- Keep writing it back in the UK. Not sure what it would be about though. Stuff that reminded me of Canada? "Hey I crossed the road in the right place today. Just like Vancouver".
- Stop writing. Interesting option, just keeping it as a record of my journey over the year. Kind of like a time capsule, only a really boring one.
- Use it as a holiday/travelling blog. Since I'm sure I'll do more of both it might be good to chronicle that stuff.
- Give it to Jen. Since she will be doing the same thing I did, except from Canada to the UK, it might be good to get a fresh perspective on British life.
So vote away my friends, vote away.
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Another pointless day where I accomplish nothing
There's really nothing better than being in what is essentially a foreign city with time on your hands. I walked down a street downtown and I swear it was like I'd never been to Canada before today. The feeling of not having to be anywhere for a particular time is pretty good, I can tell you. Almost as good as going into work and smugging it up with your former co-workers about not having to be there any more.
I think I've found the quietest place in Vancouver. I wasn't sure of it before today but now I'm positive; it's Sears. I went to the one downtown yesterday and the North Vancouver location today and they are both mausoleums. The toy department looked like it hadn't seen a customer in months, even the Iron Man figures looked bored. The top floor is the discount department, otherwise known as Where Clothes Go To Die. Even the muzak couldn't make it up that far.
Contrary to the last paragraph I have done more exciting things than visit department stores. I've been finding out which hire car companies let you drive into the US (most of them), rediscovering the library, increasing my visits to Tim Horton's and unsuccessfully selling my stuff on Craigslist. Okay maybe not that much more exciting, but I refuse to mention going to see Prince of Persia because it was crap.
I promise it will get more interesting. Especially when I don't bother taking out the insurance on the hire car and drive into a fire hydrant in Burlington.
I think I've found the quietest place in Vancouver. I wasn't sure of it before today but now I'm positive; it's Sears. I went to the one downtown yesterday and the North Vancouver location today and they are both mausoleums. The toy department looked like it hadn't seen a customer in months, even the Iron Man figures looked bored. The top floor is the discount department, otherwise known as Where Clothes Go To Die. Even the muzak couldn't make it up that far.
Contrary to the last paragraph I have done more exciting things than visit department stores. I've been finding out which hire car companies let you drive into the US (most of them), rediscovering the library, increasing my visits to Tim Horton's and unsuccessfully selling my stuff on Craigslist. Okay maybe not that much more exciting, but I refuse to mention going to see Prince of Persia because it was crap.
I promise it will get more interesting. Especially when I don't bother taking out the insurance on the hire car and drive into a fire hydrant in Burlington.
Friday, 28 May 2010
+1
So there is something I haven't yet shared on here, for a number of reasons, but I think the time has come. Some of you may remember a few months ago my blog entries mentioned how happy I was and despite the ranting I was saying what a good decision it was to come here. Well other than Vancouver being great there was another reason for that; her name is Jen.
To cut a long story short we've been going out for a few months, she is amazing and somehow I've managed to convince her that moving to the UK on a work visa would be a great idea. So 3 days after I arrive in the UK I will be heading back to the airport to pick up another immigrant (at 6:45am, thanks Jen).
As for where we will go and what we will do, we haven't honestly decided yet. Jen wants to see as much of the UK as possible, even though I've told her it's not like it is in Doctor Who. In fact it's especially not like Doctor Who, there are only so many quarries in Wales. Anyway I imagine there will be a fair amount of travel involved in the first few weeks before we do the boring stuff like get a job and place to live. Which is fine with me.
And yes, she likes Batman.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Funemployment
3 weeks until I leave and I think it's about time I made some plans for what to do with the time I have between finishing work and leaving on a jet plane. I know that if I don't do it now I will end up sitting on my sofa trying to find all the Gold Bolts in Ratchet & Clank. So far there are a few semi-definites:
- A trip to Seattle. It'd be a shame to be this close to the USA for a year and not go there at least once.
- Richmond Kart Track. It's been ages since I've been karting and now is definitely the time to go.
- Walk around the sea wall at Stanley Park again. I haven't done that in ages.
- Have the steak at Joey's again. It is seriously good steak. And the crispy mash is bloody awesome, and I'm not saying that just because Greg used to roll them. I never thought I'd know so much about crispy mash until I met that guy.
- Eat more Cheetos. Seriously, why haven't I been eating these before? They're amazing. Chester Cheetah was RIGHT.
- Pray for McDonald's dollar drink days to come around again. Come on!
Okay I'm straying into being stupid again so let's pull back. It's these freaking Cheetos man, they make me hyper.
Reading back over that there's a few things I'm doing again when I feel like I should be doing new stuff. Feel free to give me your ideas. Seriously, if you were in Vancouver for 2 weeks with money and time to spend, what would you do?
- A trip to Seattle. It'd be a shame to be this close to the USA for a year and not go there at least once.
- Richmond Kart Track. It's been ages since I've been karting and now is definitely the time to go.
- Walk around the sea wall at Stanley Park again. I haven't done that in ages.
- Have the steak at Joey's again. It is seriously good steak. And the crispy mash is bloody awesome, and I'm not saying that just because Greg used to roll them. I never thought I'd know so much about crispy mash until I met that guy.
- Eat more Cheetos. Seriously, why haven't I been eating these before? They're amazing. Chester Cheetah was RIGHT.
- Pray for McDonald's dollar drink days to come around again. Come on!
Okay I'm straying into being stupid again so let's pull back. It's these freaking Cheetos man, they make me hyper.
Reading back over that there's a few things I'm doing again when I feel like I should be doing new stuff. Feel free to give me your ideas. Seriously, if you were in Vancouver for 2 weeks with money and time to spend, what would you do?
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Vancouver - a love letter
A little while ago I decided it was the time for a late night drink from Tim Horton's, so I threw some clothes on went down to the street to grab one. But in the 2 minutes it took me to get there I suddenly had the urge to take a stroll around downtown. So a few minutes later, $1.75 poorer but a steaming cup of hot chocolate richer, I found myself heading towards False Creek.
The thing about this city is it never seems to get old to me. I'm not even sure how long I was walking (2 hours maybe?) and almost every street I walked down was one I'd seen several times before. But the freshness was still there without any sign of abating. There's something about the apartment blocks that is strangely charming. The way each of them is similar but different enough to provide variety, the way they each have something (usually several things) that would make living there more welcoming. There's the usual stuff: gyms, swimming pools, gigantic lobbies, that sort of thing. I saw one guy point his key at the electronic lock and it unlocked the door from about 3 feet away; how cool is that? Take even my building for instance, it has a party room and a small cinema you can rent - for free.
More than that though is the sense of calm that seems to come over me when I take a walk around. The city always feels warm, figuratively speaking. Tonight people were sat in grassy parks just talking and watching the darkness close in. And the calmness in a physical sense - when I got to False Creek the loudest noise I could hear was the sound of my own footsteps. The water was as still as I've seen it and the lights reflecting in the water from the Science World looked beautiful. Even without the view of the mountains or the warm summer sunshine, I was walking around slowly taking in the atmosphere and felt completely at peace. No matter ephemeral that feeling was, it was Vancouver that gave it to me.
So what now? The sadness of leaving? Partly, yes. But I'd rather leave with the gratitude of having been. I like the fact I haven't seen everything it has to offer - it gives me good reason to come back. And if all I leave with are fond memories and greater sense of equanimity then I'm happy with that.
So here's to you, Vancouver. My favourite place on Earth.
The thing about this city is it never seems to get old to me. I'm not even sure how long I was walking (2 hours maybe?) and almost every street I walked down was one I'd seen several times before. But the freshness was still there without any sign of abating. There's something about the apartment blocks that is strangely charming. The way each of them is similar but different enough to provide variety, the way they each have something (usually several things) that would make living there more welcoming. There's the usual stuff: gyms, swimming pools, gigantic lobbies, that sort of thing. I saw one guy point his key at the electronic lock and it unlocked the door from about 3 feet away; how cool is that? Take even my building for instance, it has a party room and a small cinema you can rent - for free.
More than that though is the sense of calm that seems to come over me when I take a walk around. The city always feels warm, figuratively speaking. Tonight people were sat in grassy parks just talking and watching the darkness close in. And the calmness in a physical sense - when I got to False Creek the loudest noise I could hear was the sound of my own footsteps. The water was as still as I've seen it and the lights reflecting in the water from the Science World looked beautiful. Even without the view of the mountains or the warm summer sunshine, I was walking around slowly taking in the atmosphere and felt completely at peace. No matter ephemeral that feeling was, it was Vancouver that gave it to me.
So what now? The sadness of leaving? Partly, yes. But I'd rather leave with the gratitude of having been. I like the fact I haven't seen everything it has to offer - it gives me good reason to come back. And if all I leave with are fond memories and greater sense of equanimity then I'm happy with that.
So here's to you, Vancouver. My favourite place on Earth.
Friday, 14 May 2010
11/12
One month to go. I'm definitely in end-of-trip mode, even though I don't finish work for another two weeks. It's clashing with my desire to stay though. Usually at the end of a holiday (even though this wasn't, it felt like one) I'm ready to go back home and return to normal. I am definitely looking forward to funemployment, spending the last couple of weeks in Vancouver before heading home and watching as much football as I can cram in. Good times. In other news:
- Vancouver has been basking in summer sunshine and it's brilliant. The city looks and feels so much better with blue skies and sun directly overhead. I was walking by False Creek today enjoying the warmth, the slight breeze and the view when I though to myself: "I'm going to miss this town".
- England are not going to win the World Cup. Ignore the previous post.
- For reasons too boring to explain I've become obsessed with this stupid game called The Saboteur. It's got to the point where I don't like playing it any more, but I have to get 100%. And the closer I get, the more I find myself swearing at the television.
- Hotels in Seattle look expensive. But why? There doesn't seem to be anything to do once you get there.
- I've decided I might sell the lappy. So listen up Canadian readers, $300 and it's yours.
Right that's it. I'm off to play Saboteur. Sigh.
- Vancouver has been basking in summer sunshine and it's brilliant. The city looks and feels so much better with blue skies and sun directly overhead. I was walking by False Creek today enjoying the warmth, the slight breeze and the view when I though to myself: "I'm going to miss this town".
- England are not going to win the World Cup. Ignore the previous post.
- For reasons too boring to explain I've become obsessed with this stupid game called The Saboteur. It's got to the point where I don't like playing it any more, but I have to get 100%. And the closer I get, the more I find myself swearing at the television.
- Hotels in Seattle look expensive. But why? There doesn't seem to be anything to do once you get there.
- I've decided I might sell the lappy. So listen up Canadian readers, $300 and it's yours.
Right that's it. I'm off to play Saboteur. Sigh.
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
It's weird having Tuesdays off
There's nothing to do. I think I'm going to start walking again, even though it's not the same without Greg and I reflecting about how our lives have turned out. *cries*
But in the interests of public service, here's some useful information for you:
- McDonald's breakfast is better than Burger King's. Also you can only sit for 20 minutes if you eat in at BK.
- Sometimes people will come in and ask you if you're open on Sundays. On a Sunday. Be prepared.
- Swedish films are weird. And not for the faint of heart.
- My dad seems to think I'll be staying at the house for a while when I get back. No chance, I'm there to watch the football and after that I'm getting the hell out of Dodge. And let's face it, it makes sense. Then I'm not climbing the walls dealing with a couple of pensioners and my dad isn't searching for one slipper every other night after I've hidden it somewhere.
- Apparently there's an election soon?
- OK I finally admit it. Dairy Queen's Blizzard is better than a McFlurry.
That's it. I'm off to find something to do.
But in the interests of public service, here's some useful information for you:
- McDonald's breakfast is better than Burger King's. Also you can only sit for 20 minutes if you eat in at BK.
- Sometimes people will come in and ask you if you're open on Sundays. On a Sunday. Be prepared.
- Swedish films are weird. And not for the faint of heart.
- My dad seems to think I'll be staying at the house for a while when I get back. No chance, I'm there to watch the football and after that I'm getting the hell out of Dodge. And let's face it, it makes sense. Then I'm not climbing the walls dealing with a couple of pensioners and my dad isn't searching for one slipper every other night after I've hidden it somewhere.
- Apparently there's an election soon?
- OK I finally admit it. Dairy Queen's Blizzard is better than a McFlurry.
That's it. I'm off to find something to do.
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Come on, buy my stuff you chumps
Turns out selling stuff is harder than I first thought. So far I've managed to tentatively sell DJ Hero for $50 and...er...that's it. Some clown offered me $30 for it. I do however feel sorry for my work colleagues, whom over the next 4 weeks are going to be subjected to me trying to sell them my stuff with increasing levels of desperation.
- Just over 4 weeks left until I leave work. This also means I have to use my staff discount while I still can. Hmm...maybe Just Cause 2 is worth a punt after all. Or Uncharted 2. Also I could use another 360 controller.
- Student Loans reckon I'll start owing them 250 quid a month starting June. I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that isn't going to pan out.
- No volcanic eruptions in the next 6 weeks please.
- We can win the World Cup this year. BELIEVE.
- Every time I seem to look at the time, usually on my phone, it's followed by "Oh ****!" and me scrambling to do something/be somewhere/get up in an extreme hurry. This never used to happen.
- My parents are going to get me insured on their car for when I get back. And they'd better, since I'm going to beat the hell out of that thing. Basically the plan is to put at least 2-3000 miles on the clock so that when the time comes to eventually sell it to me, I can get a better price. I might try putting diesel in to see what happens. Actually no, that's not true, I'm not going anywhere near a petrol station with it.
Greg, Rosie and Piers are still getting all up in everyone's grill on Facebook about what an amazing time they're having in California. Bastards.
- Just over 4 weeks left until I leave work. This also means I have to use my staff discount while I still can. Hmm...maybe Just Cause 2 is worth a punt after all. Or Uncharted 2. Also I could use another 360 controller.
- Student Loans reckon I'll start owing them 250 quid a month starting June. I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that isn't going to pan out.
- No volcanic eruptions in the next 6 weeks please.
- We can win the World Cup this year. BELIEVE.
- Every time I seem to look at the time, usually on my phone, it's followed by "Oh ****!" and me scrambling to do something/be somewhere/get up in an extreme hurry. This never used to happen.
- My parents are going to get me insured on their car for when I get back. And they'd better, since I'm going to beat the hell out of that thing. Basically the plan is to put at least 2-3000 miles on the clock so that when the time comes to eventually sell it to me, I can get a better price. I might try putting diesel in to see what happens. Actually no, that's not true, I'm not going anywhere near a petrol station with it.
Greg, Rosie and Piers are still getting all up in everyone's grill on Facebook about what an amazing time they're having in California. Bastards.
Saturday, 24 April 2010
FIRE SALE
Right it's time to start getting rid of all this crap I've accumulated over the last 10 months. I'm already having to buy another suitcase to pack bulk stuff like night vision goggles, Pandora's Box, Ezio figurines etc. So a rudimentary inventory highlighted the sort of stuff I have to shift:
- Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9, Anthology & Tactics
- Legend of Dragoon
- Fear Effect (remind me again why I bought that?)
- Katamari Damacy
- King of the Fighters 00/01
- DJ Hero
- Burnout Paradise
- PS3 console
- A couple of crappy Blu Rays I can't even remember the names of
- Green hair spray
- Elvis-style sunglasses
- Snowboarding goggles & snow pants
- Some crappy mouse that cost me about $20
Jesus Christ I bought too many games. I thought I'd gone some way to conquering this problem. Anyway all sensible offers considered. As long as you're in Vancouver.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
:*******************(
I promised sad times, and thanks to Greg's camera I can now deliver.
The last group photo. In fact it might be the only group photo, come to think of it. I like the subtle thumbs up from Greg.
Emotional scenes as Piers and I share a manly hug. I love the fact we got the owner of Taf's (the bar that's always empty) in the background. And in the mirror, in a sort of perpetuating loop of awkwardness.
Best. Photo. Ever. Greg said he was doing it on purpose, but I think it was a candid shot.
Trying to make Brewster cry. Didn't happen.
The final hug. Emotion got the better of me here it seems. Or I stood on something.
I told you they were sad times. Made even sadder by the fact that these three are now all over my Facebook posting smug photos showing what a great time they're having. Damn you kids! *shakes fist*
Friday, 16 April 2010
Holy crap it's less than 2 months
60 days. How did this happen? I think the departure of Team Family made it seem a little more real, but even so I can't believe it's so soon. It's only about 6 weeks until I finish work, after that the challenge is to motivate myself to get out of bed to experience as much of Vancouver as I can before I leave on a jet plane. Meanwhile:
- It was a good send-off for the English crew. I was disappointed that Rosie didn't cry though, Greg and I tried our best. I was all sad face and everything.
"Do you have Playstation Network cards?"
"Yes, we have the $20 ones."
"How much are they?"
"..."
- Finally the sun is coming out again. And we can see it in the sky. No volcanic ash or ANYTHING.
- Quiznos are doing a small prime rib steak & cheese sub for $2.99. I got genuinely excited about this.
So here's to Team Family. You'll be happy to know out of all of us the person who got the most emotional was my mum, apparently that video did it. There were some great shots from the last night so when they get uploaded I'll put the highlights on the blog.
- It was a good send-off for the English crew. I was disappointed that Rosie didn't cry though, Greg and I tried our best. I was all sad face and everything.
"Do you have Playstation Network cards?"
"Yes, we have the $20 ones."
"How much are they?"
"..."
- Finally the sun is coming out again. And we can see it in the sky. No volcanic ash or ANYTHING.
- Quiznos are doing a small prime rib steak & cheese sub for $2.99. I got genuinely excited about this.
So here's to Team Family. You'll be happy to know out of all of us the person who got the most emotional was my mum, apparently that video did it. There were some great shots from the last night so when they get uploaded I'll put the highlights on the blog.
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Goodbye Team Family. I'll miss you.
Thursday sees the end of an era with three-quarters of Team Family leaving Vancouver. Greg, Rosie and Piers will be heading off for a travelling adventure down the USA's west coast. I'm not sure what exactly is planned, in fact I'm not sure they know either, but I know Las Vegas, San Francisco and Los Angeles are scheduled stops. It sounds like an awesome trip and I know they'll have a great time. From there they all have their own plans and ultimately it means the next time we'll all be in the same country will be several months from now in the good old UK.
In the spirit of the occasion I thought it would be fitting to go through some of our highlights of the last 10 months. Plus I get to write it in bullet points.
- Meeting Greg for the first time. We were both sharing the same hostel room and came to the realisation that we were in fact the same people who had spoken on Facebook the week before. But not before one of the first things (in my jet lagged, hyperactive state) I said to Greg was "Nice sink. I wonder how many people have got up in the night and had a slash in it"
- After watching the fireworks on the beach at English Bay, the Mounted Police coming round and clearing everyone off the sand. Rosie's reaction to this: "Do we have to leave because of horses?"
- Just as I came out of the back room at work hearing a familiar English voice say "JP!" and turning round to see Piers. So strange that the last time the two of us saw each other would have been on a football field in Cambridge, then going for lunch in Vancouver.
- Christmas 2009. This was a highlight for everyone else you understand. How they managed to get to sleep on the floor of the living room I'll never know. Having the oven set to Fahrenheit instead of Celsius, the smoke alarm going off almost constantly, Greg dropping a full tub of pancake batter in the kitchen; the fun never stopped.
- The waitress in The Templeton constantly trying to predict our orders and getting it consistently wrong. Also that she seems to know Piers has a regular order even though he eats there the least out of all of us.
- Finding another regular venue in The Furniture Warehouse, sorry I mean The 'Famous' Warehouse. The reason we like this place is because all the food is under $5. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard the suggestion "Works Burger?" then I wouldn't have to sell games to teenagers.
There's plenty more; snowboarding, Erik's tour (the random old guy in the above video), gay bingo, Halloween, the list goes on. So I guess what I'm saying is it's been a great few months with you guys and I love you all. Except Greg since he dumped me on Facebook, the swine.
So we have the emotional goodbye drinks on Wednesday. It's going to be messy, isn't it?
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Execute Order an6
Some of you may remember I posted an entry several months ago about how my phone is complete garbage. Well it's found a new level recently and this has been named 'an6 mode'.
Essentially if I try to type any word in a text message that starts with the button combination 2-6-6, like complain, complete or bonfire, the phone will think anything I want to type will start with 'an6'. So the suggestions I get, in order, are:
- an6e
- an6k
- an6sold
Any variation from this is not allowed. So typing the letter 't' after that would not work. The phone just does nothing. Also, I forgot to mention this entire process will cause the phone to freeze for up to two minutes (I checked) and when not frozen, slow down throughout the entire ordeal. The only way out of this is to delete the entire message, which it will sometimes do on its own, leaving just the letter 'k'.
There aren't any words to describe my feelings for this phone. At least it constantly surprises me. Just when I think I've seen it all, it finds a completely new way to screw with my mind and my text messages. And the most surprising thing of all is how many of these phones I see in Vancouver. Barely a day goes by when I don't hear the same ring tone or text tone (which isn't hard, there's only 6 and you can't upgrade them). So there's a tonne of other poor bastards walking around with this piece of crap. I can't believe the phone I had in 1999 is better than this one.
Essentially if I try to type any word in a text message that starts with the button combination 2-6-6, like complain, complete or bonfire, the phone will think anything I want to type will start with 'an6'. So the suggestions I get, in order, are:
- an6e
- an6k
- an6sold
Any variation from this is not allowed. So typing the letter 't' after that would not work. The phone just does nothing. Also, I forgot to mention this entire process will cause the phone to freeze for up to two minutes (I checked) and when not frozen, slow down throughout the entire ordeal. The only way out of this is to delete the entire message, which it will sometimes do on its own, leaving just the letter 'k'.
There aren't any words to describe my feelings for this phone. At least it constantly surprises me. Just when I think I've seen it all, it finds a completely new way to screw with my mind and my text messages. And the most surprising thing of all is how many of these phones I see in Vancouver. Barely a day goes by when I don't hear the same ring tone or text tone (which isn't hard, there's only 6 and you can't upgrade them). So there's a tonne of other poor bastards walking around with this piece of crap. I can't believe the phone I had in 1999 is better than this one.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
"How's the weather over there?"
The answer is: a bit windy. Quite windy in fact. Since it was my day off today and I had nothing better to do I decided to head to Wal Mart in North Vancouver. Which involves walking through Stanley Park and over the Lions Gate Bridge. Well it does if you're me anyway.
I was on the phone to my mum at the time trying to convince her I was still alive, since she'd seen a show in the UK about how sometimes people living abroad go missing and turn up dead. I hadn't been heard from in a few days so naturally she assumed this was what had occurred. So it probably didn't help when I was walking alongside the road through Stanley Park and remarked how windy it was. Shortly after this I heard a very loud crack and looked to my left and saw three tall trees swaying rather nervously in a particularly strong gust of wind. I was disappointed; I thought a tree had gone over and I missed it. But almost immediately there was another sharp breath of wind and what I can only describe as the sound of a tree breaking and falling. And there it was, a tree that was easily 100 feet tall just plummeting to the ground in the forest on the North side of the park. The thing came crashing down with a lot of satisfying wood-breaking noises. I found this extremely exciting; my mum did not. "How long until you're out of the forest?" I also came upon another tree that has previously fallen and was blocking the sidewalk and one lane of the road. After successfully negotiating this, I headed for the bridge.
Immediately after setting foot onto the bridge I seemed to feel a little weird, almost seasick. Then I realised it was because the bridge was moving underfoot. This information nearly sent mum over the edge, again I found this quite funny. And it got better. Walking over a bridge has never been so much fun. The wind was buffeting me almost the entire way, I had to walk at an angle into the wind so I wasn't blown into the road. A few times it took me a little way left, at least it was blowing me further into the bridge and not over the side. I had to shout to make myself heard on the phone, the noise was pretty deafening. I also saw a pigeon that had taken refuge in a non-windy corner of a support strut. I've never seen a nervous pigeon before but this one looked scared out of its mind. And so it was with careful steps and nervous parents asking me how far I had to go that I made it over to the relative sanctuary of North Vancouver.
So that was my Friday. I'm sorry mum, but it was very funny. I told you I wouldn't phone you when I got to Wal Mart to let you know I was alright.
And when I did get there? The mall with the Wal Mart in had a complete power cut. What a waste of time.
I was on the phone to my mum at the time trying to convince her I was still alive, since she'd seen a show in the UK about how sometimes people living abroad go missing and turn up dead. I hadn't been heard from in a few days so naturally she assumed this was what had occurred. So it probably didn't help when I was walking alongside the road through Stanley Park and remarked how windy it was. Shortly after this I heard a very loud crack and looked to my left and saw three tall trees swaying rather nervously in a particularly strong gust of wind. I was disappointed; I thought a tree had gone over and I missed it. But almost immediately there was another sharp breath of wind and what I can only describe as the sound of a tree breaking and falling. And there it was, a tree that was easily 100 feet tall just plummeting to the ground in the forest on the North side of the park. The thing came crashing down with a lot of satisfying wood-breaking noises. I found this extremely exciting; my mum did not. "How long until you're out of the forest?" I also came upon another tree that has previously fallen and was blocking the sidewalk and one lane of the road. After successfully negotiating this, I headed for the bridge.
Immediately after setting foot onto the bridge I seemed to feel a little weird, almost seasick. Then I realised it was because the bridge was moving underfoot. This information nearly sent mum over the edge, again I found this quite funny. And it got better. Walking over a bridge has never been so much fun. The wind was buffeting me almost the entire way, I had to walk at an angle into the wind so I wasn't blown into the road. A few times it took me a little way left, at least it was blowing me further into the bridge and not over the side. I had to shout to make myself heard on the phone, the noise was pretty deafening. I also saw a pigeon that had taken refuge in a non-windy corner of a support strut. I've never seen a nervous pigeon before but this one looked scared out of its mind. And so it was with careful steps and nervous parents asking me how far I had to go that I made it over to the relative sanctuary of North Vancouver.
So that was my Friday. I'm sorry mum, but it was very funny. I told you I wouldn't phone you when I got to Wal Mart to let you know I was alright.
And when I did get there? The mall with the Wal Mart in had a complete power cut. What a waste of time.
Tuesday, 30 March 2010
See, I told you no-one remembers resolutions in March
Some of you may remember back in January I made some non-New Year's Resolutions. So let's see how I'm getting on with those shall we?
Get a tattoo. Likely to be "I'm not Australian" on some prominent part of my body.
Hmm. Fair to say this one was always unlikely. The Australian thing has died down though.
Do some more travelling. I'd like to point out that travelling does include visits to Disney World and/or Disneyland.
I went to Richmond. Does that count?
Buy fewer games. No point even trying with that one.
Yeah it was a good idea crossing that out.
Find a way of expressing myself that doesn't involve bullet points.
Err. Next.
Do more snowboarding. Woah, spilling over into things that might be actual resolutions here. Let's get back on track.
Crap! This was definitely something I should have done more of.
Stop using internet speak, even in jest. It'll be hard, but I think it's possible. I'm fairly certain I didn't get an A-Level in English Literature so I could respond to an unfunny joke by saying 'lulz' out loud.
Ah, one I've actually stuck to. Still going well on this particular point.
Not buy a Batman suit. I think I've grown out of that one to be honest, no pun intended. Bit like a tiger that suit, it looks good but you wouldn't want to own one.
So far so good. I wouldn't be able to save the money anyway, thanks to the resolution I crossed out.
Not including the games one, I make that 2/6. 3 if you count going to Richmond.
2/6 then.
Get a tattoo. Likely to be "I'm not Australian" on some prominent part of my body.
Hmm. Fair to say this one was always unlikely. The Australian thing has died down though.
Do some more travelling. I'd like to point out that travelling does include visits to Disney World and/or Disneyland.
I went to Richmond. Does that count?
Yeah it was a good idea crossing that out.
Find a way of expressing myself that doesn't involve bullet points.
Err. Next.
Do more snowboarding. Woah, spilling over into things that might be actual resolutions here. Let's get back on track.
Crap! This was definitely something I should have done more of.
Stop using internet speak, even in jest. It'll be hard, but I think it's possible. I'm fairly certain I didn't get an A-Level in English Literature so I could respond to an unfunny joke by saying 'lulz' out loud.
Ah, one I've actually stuck to. Still going well on this particular point.
Not buy a Batman suit. I think I've grown out of that one to be honest, no pun intended. Bit like a tiger that suit, it looks good but you wouldn't want to own one.
So far so good. I wouldn't be able to save the money anyway, thanks to the resolution I crossed out.
Not including the games one, I make that 2/6. 3 if you count going to Richmond.
2/6 then.
Friday, 26 March 2010
"If you fall off that chair I'm not catching you"
The past few days have been marked by some sort of random malady I've picked up. I spent most of Tuesday wanting to lie down; my back, neck & arms hurt, whilst my head seemed to be on fire. I think it was lugging stuff around on the Monday that did it, that's the last time I pick up a shipping box from the loading dock without a trolley. I should also probably use the elevator instead of the stairs. Anyway I'm mostly fine now, even though one of the guys at work thought I was going to fall off a chair at one point. You can't even sway randomly from left to right these days without people saying you're going to fall off this and that. I told one of the guys today he'd have to give me a back massage at some point. I even said I'd brought a Baggie of massage oil and a mix tape.
The main purpose for writing that was so my mum flies into some mad panic about my health and calls the RCMP. I'm running a sweepstake on how long it will be before they knock on my door and your time starts...now!
Some other highlights:
- Almost every person who reads the blog in the UK will have been completely baffled by the last entry. To explain; it was something that relates to most of the people I know in Canada. You know when you can't tell someone an in-joke because they won't know what it means? Kind of like that, but everyone has something.
- Saying "Oh snap!" is cool.
- I ordered a couple of drinks at Quiznos today and the cashier was very confused. You see, I've got to the stage where all of them know me and know the range I usually order from, so deviations from that cause questions. "Is that all? Are you sure?".
- Disaster at The Templeton. The waitress who we know and we thought gave us free drinks may not in fact be giving us free drinks. She just doesn't write them on the ticket. I was there this week and sure enough, no drinks on the ticket. But then closer inspection of the register receipt revealed the worst: Vanilla Coke. This could have been going on for months and we've never noticed.
- For the next two weeks I have a three day weekend. Awesome.
That's it. Oh, anyone want to buy a load of PS3 stuff? Got some good things on sale, stranger.
The main purpose for writing that was so my mum flies into some mad panic about my health and calls the RCMP. I'm running a sweepstake on how long it will be before they knock on my door and your time starts...now!
Some other highlights:
- Almost every person who reads the blog in the UK will have been completely baffled by the last entry. To explain; it was something that relates to most of the people I know in Canada. You know when you can't tell someone an in-joke because they won't know what it means? Kind of like that, but everyone has something.
- Saying "Oh snap!" is cool.
- I ordered a couple of drinks at Quiznos today and the cashier was very confused. You see, I've got to the stage where all of them know me and know the range I usually order from, so deviations from that cause questions. "Is that all? Are you sure?".
- Disaster at The Templeton. The waitress who we know and we thought gave us free drinks may not in fact be giving us free drinks. She just doesn't write them on the ticket. I was there this week and sure enough, no drinks on the ticket. But then closer inspection of the register receipt revealed the worst: Vanilla Coke. This could have been going on for months and we've never noticed.
- For the next two weeks I have a three day weekend. Awesome.
That's it. Oh, anyone want to buy a load of PS3 stuff? Got some good things on sale, stranger.
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Something for everyone
- "Holy wow, man. This is not a door, it is a wall of lies and deceit."
- "How do you always ring during Coronation Street?"
- "OMG for realsies? That's awesome!"
- "Phwoar. I'm ready for pushback."
- "Regale and not regail? Bullshit, I'm looking it up."
- "I'm telling you man. Blood Bowl is shit."
- "I need some cheap bongos."
- "What will Colin Farrell talk about? 'This is shit, **** this!'."
- "I think I look like a boy."
- "How do you always ring during Coronation Street?"
- "OMG for realsies? That's awesome!"
- "Phwoar. I'm ready for pushback."
- "Regale and not regail? Bullshit, I'm looking it up."
- "I'm telling you man. Blood Bowl is shit."
- "I need some cheap bongos."
- "What will Colin Farrell talk about? 'This is shit, **** this!'."
- "I think I look like a boy."
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Look, I don't know
Over the last few weeks several people have been asking me what my plan is when I get back to the UK. First of all, as you may have gathered I don't really like talking about going back so I've not thought about it too much. Secondly the honest answer is I don't have one. There are a few ideas I have but I am tempted to continue not having a plan and see what happens. I mean, I went to Canada without much of a plan and that turned out alright.
So in conclusion, I will end up doing something but I'm not sure what it is yet. Actually that's not true, I plan to watch the World Cup. Tainted by the sadness that is the absence of David Beckham.
And so onto the highlights:
- I must say prices in a foreign language. There's not other explaining having to repeat myself so regularly.
- I'm getting closer to selling some of my stuff. Space considerations are becoming more paramount in my mind. I've already got to think of a way to get my night vision goggles home. And I really want that God of War 3 Ultimate Edition.
- I realised the other day I haven't had a steak since I came out here. This must and will be rectified in the next week.
- After living in the same building for nearly 8 months I finally ventured out into the garden on the 11th floor. And that was because James & Ellen suggested it. Fair play, it was quite nice.
- Quiznos have a new menu, including the stuff I buy being lower in price. When does this ever happen in the UK?
I'm all screwed up this week since my days off are different. I'm not sure I like it, but it's a change. Everything's changing; up is white, black is left. Stop the world, I want to get off!
So in conclusion, I will end up doing something but I'm not sure what it is yet. Actually that's not true, I plan to watch the World Cup. Tainted by the sadness that is the absence of David Beckham.
And so onto the highlights:
- I must say prices in a foreign language. There's not other explaining having to repeat myself so regularly.
- I'm getting closer to selling some of my stuff. Space considerations are becoming more paramount in my mind. I've already got to think of a way to get my night vision goggles home. And I really want that God of War 3 Ultimate Edition.
- I realised the other day I haven't had a steak since I came out here. This must and will be rectified in the next week.
- After living in the same building for nearly 8 months I finally ventured out into the garden on the 11th floor. And that was because James & Ellen suggested it. Fair play, it was quite nice.
- Quiznos have a new menu, including the stuff I buy being lower in price. When does this ever happen in the UK?
I'm all screwed up this week since my days off are different. I'm not sure I like it, but it's a change. Everything's changing; up is white, black is left. Stop the world, I want to get off!
Saturday, 13 March 2010
The photo the blog has been waiting for
I told you I met Batman. I know Greg looks altogether more into it than me, but I decided to go with the chilled look. Like I meet him all the time. Hey, if I bump into Bruce Wayne I don't want him to think I wouldn't be cool around him.
- Myself and the Gregster actually went on the zipline today. Apparently it's back for the Paralympics and that's fine with me, we only queued for just over an hour. Then after zipping across Robson Square and de-rigging, turning to each other and saying "Food?". "Yeah". "McDonald's?". "Yeah".
- James and Ellen leave for the UK tomorrow having experienced everything Vancouver has to offer. In fact I'm surprised it's taken them this long, I would have run out of things to do after about 4 days. They even went to Richmond, I'm still trying to work that one out.
- Café Crêpe is a great place to go for cheap beer. Who would have thought it?
- I might crack open the Slurm this weekend. It's about time I got to taste the highly addictive goodness. ISN'T THAT RIGHT DAD?
- On another McDonald's-related note, they're currently giving away free coffee. This is why I've ingested more premium roast in the last 48 hours than I have in the last 28 years. It's currently just coming up to midnight and I'm seriously thinking of heading down for another one.
So as Charlie Brooker would say that's The Week in Bullshit. You'll be pleased to know I've barely played any video games in the last fortnight. But since I have sod all to do now and some free coffee to obtain, that temporary abstention is about to come to an end.
Monday, 8 March 2010
Was that really 9 days off?
Jesus that went quickly. I don't care what anyone says, time does go faster when you're doing stuff.
Vancouver gained a couple of English people on Monday as James & Ellen arrived for their Canadian holiday. Luckily I was at the airport to meet them with a sign mocking them, and luckily they also had a sign taking the piss out of me. Just like old times. So the past week has been spent showing them the sights, sounds and smells of British Columbia. Including (but not limited to):
- Lighthouse Park, the place myself and Greg went to very early on in our Canadian adventure.
- Taking photos of orange cones.
- Visiting as many shopping malls as possible. Current count = 4.
- Finding out Science World is closed.
- Not finding any wildlife. I promise you Balaams, Canadian wild animals do exist.
- Counting how many times I swear at my phone on any given day.
- Cheesy bread (told you there were smells).
Obviously we met up with the Team Family for some English drinking action in the bar that's never busy. Seriously, we went in during the Olympics and there were still a few tables free. Also of note were the relatively unsuccessful attempts to share embarrassing stories about me. Apart from the one about me coming to work with an imprint of a heart on my face, that one is true.
And I was right, that post below about looking back with envy about the me of last week with all that time off in front of him. DAMN YOU FEBRUARY 26TH JP.
Vancouver gained a couple of English people on Monday as James & Ellen arrived for their Canadian holiday. Luckily I was at the airport to meet them with a sign mocking them, and luckily they also had a sign taking the piss out of me. Just like old times. So the past week has been spent showing them the sights, sounds and smells of British Columbia. Including (but not limited to):
- Lighthouse Park, the place myself and Greg went to very early on in our Canadian adventure.
- Taking photos of orange cones.
- Visiting as many shopping malls as possible. Current count = 4.
- Finding out Science World is closed.
- Not finding any wildlife. I promise you Balaams, Canadian wild animals do exist.
- Counting how many times I swear at my phone on any given day.
- Cheesy bread (told you there were smells).
Obviously we met up with the Team Family for some English drinking action in the bar that's never busy. Seriously, we went in during the Olympics and there were still a few tables free. Also of note were the relatively unsuccessful attempts to share embarrassing stories about me. Apart from the one about me coming to work with an imprint of a heart on my face, that one is true.
And I was right, that post below about looking back with envy about the me of last week with all that time off in front of him. DAMN YOU FEBRUARY 26TH JP.
Friday, 26 February 2010
Good times my friend, good times
So many good things are happening in the course of the next few days. In no particular order:
- The Olympics finish on Sunday. YES. We get our town back. I also have a feeling the city of Vancouver will have that feeling you get after a 2 week holiday. You got quite drunk, you didn't quite get everything done you wanted, some people you went with thought it was crap and it cost an awful lot of money.
- My time off has arrived. This post will primarily make me feel bad next week when I have to go back to work and I think of myself sat here with no reason to get up for the next nine days.
- A couple of friends arrive from the UK next week for their own Canadian holiday. It'll be good to see some familiar faces and look as if I know where things are in and around Vancouver. Of course I have lots of stuff planned and lots of ideas for what they can do. Erm, yeah.
In other news my boss asked me this week what I will think of that defines my trip to Canada. I said I didn't really know and that's pretty much true, a year is a long time to distil to one thing. There's been a lot of highlights; snowboarding, Nathan Barley costumes, gay bingo. And hopefully more still to come.
Having said that I know what will happen when I get home. Despite all the good times, despite the people I've met, despite a basically amazing year (genuinely the best of my life - no joke), people will ask "How was Canada? What was it like? Did you have a good time?". And I'll say "It was alright".
- The Olympics finish on Sunday. YES. We get our town back. I also have a feeling the city of Vancouver will have that feeling you get after a 2 week holiday. You got quite drunk, you didn't quite get everything done you wanted, some people you went with thought it was crap and it cost an awful lot of money.
- My time off has arrived. This post will primarily make me feel bad next week when I have to go back to work and I think of myself sat here with no reason to get up for the next nine days.
- A couple of friends arrive from the UK next week for their own Canadian holiday. It'll be good to see some familiar faces and look as if I know where things are in and around Vancouver. Of course I have lots of stuff planned and lots of ideas for what they can do. Erm, yeah.
In other news my boss asked me this week what I will think of that defines my trip to Canada. I said I didn't really know and that's pretty much true, a year is a long time to distil to one thing. There's been a lot of highlights; snowboarding, Nathan Barley costumes, gay bingo. And hopefully more still to come.
Having said that I know what will happen when I get home. Despite all the good times, despite the people I've met, despite a basically amazing year (genuinely the best of my life - no joke), people will ask "How was Canada? What was it like? Did you have a good time?". And I'll say "It was alright".
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
3 days to go
3 days until my week off. YES. I realised earlier this week that the longest I've had off since I started working last July is 3 days. Yeah that's right, you British people are loving those EU laws now eh? I told you it wasn't all sweetness and light over here. Anyway, time off. Bonus.
- People who visit Vancouver for the Olympics also evidently are not interested in video games in any way. They are, however, very interested in walking around without any idea where they are going. Taking photos of nothing in particular while they do it.
- I finally destroyed my work trousers. For the last couple of months they've been, shall we say, worse for wear. There's a perfect imprint of my phone and wallet on either pocket and small hole which I stepped in yesterday to make a rather large hole. I thought I could make it for the next 3 months but alas no. I've been advised not to buy replacement trousers from Wal Mart.
- Everyone I know is working harder than me. I knew it would pay off not working in a restaurant. Also because everyone would get food poisoning.
- Greg and I had our photo taken with Batman. I shit you not. Pictorial evidence to be provided after the Olympics. About time, I think I need another photo update.
- Apparently my accent is ever so slightly Canadian now. I highly doubt this, and even if that were the case, when you live in a different country for this long you're bound to pick some stuff up eh.
Also most people seem to think I've finally lost it. What's wrong with you all? You should all be fully appraised on Black Eyed Peas lyrics. The next test will be on Girls Aloud. Just a warning.
- People who visit Vancouver for the Olympics also evidently are not interested in video games in any way. They are, however, very interested in walking around without any idea where they are going. Taking photos of nothing in particular while they do it.
- I finally destroyed my work trousers. For the last couple of months they've been, shall we say, worse for wear. There's a perfect imprint of my phone and wallet on either pocket and small hole which I stepped in yesterday to make a rather large hole. I thought I could make it for the next 3 months but alas no. I've been advised not to buy replacement trousers from Wal Mart.
- Everyone I know is working harder than me. I knew it would pay off not working in a restaurant. Also because everyone would get food poisoning.
- Greg and I had our photo taken with Batman. I shit you not. Pictorial evidence to be provided after the Olympics. About time, I think I need another photo update.
- Apparently my accent is ever so slightly Canadian now. I highly doubt this, and even if that were the case, when you live in a different country for this long you're bound to pick some stuff up eh.
Also most people seem to think I've finally lost it. What's wrong with you all? You should all be fully appraised on Black Eyed Peas lyrics. The next test will be on Girls Aloud. Just a warning.
Thursday, 18 February 2010
It's just like old times
Since my internet has crapped out again I headed to the SWAP office to check my email and actual mail (I had a letter from the tax office. Woohoo!). Regular followers of the blog (both of you) will know this was where I spent a fair amount of time at the beginning of the adventure. Those times were filled with frantic CV editing and general panic and it's nice to sit here without that pressure. It is, however, quite depressing to discover how much you've earnt over the last months and subsequently blown. Seriously, where has all this money gone? Actually on second thought I don't even want to know.
- Town is still busy. Very busy. Although the number of people asking for directions has dramatically decreased so maybe they're starting to learn their way around. It was also getting increasingly difficult to resist the temptation to send them in the wrong direction anyway.
- Going to Quiznos on your day off is a bad move.
- Apparently the Winter Games have been getting a lot of negative press back in the UK. Is this true? Since I've been generally not paying attention to any of the media coverage on either side of the Atlantic I've no idea if they're going well or not.
- I really hate my phone. Still. It will never abate. I keep fantasising about how I'm going to destroy it when I'm finished with it. So far every idea involves a blender. Or maybe the Slap Chop!
That's all folks. I'm off to enjoy the sunshine. Yeah that's right, the sunshine.
- Town is still busy. Very busy. Although the number of people asking for directions has dramatically decreased so maybe they're starting to learn their way around. It was also getting increasingly difficult to resist the temptation to send them in the wrong direction anyway.
- Going to Quiznos on your day off is a bad move.
- Apparently the Winter Games have been getting a lot of negative press back in the UK. Is this true? Since I've been generally not paying attention to any of the media coverage on either side of the Atlantic I've no idea if they're going well or not.
- I really hate my phone. Still. It will never abate. I keep fantasising about how I'm going to destroy it when I'm finished with it. So far every idea involves a blender. Or maybe the Slap Chop!
That's all folks. I'm off to enjoy the sunshine. Yeah that's right, the sunshine.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Let's have a positive one for a change
It struck me that the last couple of blog posts have been relatively negative, so let's have an upbeat one for a nice change of pace.
- I'm actually warming to the sports of the Winter Olympics (so hilarious). Every time I catch them on TV you can tell all of them require massive amounts of natural ability. And with some of the athletes being so young it makes their performances all the more impressive. It'd be a great experience for all of them, basically like heading to the World Cup.
- I've had some amazing food in the last week or so. Including (but not limited to) various seafood dishes and Chinese take out, and they've all been really good. One thing I have noticed is the quality of seafood over here, which I guess is obvious given Vancouver's proximity to fresh sources.
- There's a zip line heading right across Robson Square, and it's free. I've got to get on this thing before it goes, I'll never have such a convenient opportunity to recreate the opening scene from The Dark Knight.
- I'm only 10 days away from having 9 days off. YES.
- Most of you thought I was mistaken for a Rachel. Sorry to disappoint but it was Joe. I didn't even argue, I just went with it.
That felt much better. As I've said before I'm genuinely happy these days but I guess old habits die hard and my English nature requires me to complain every couple of weeks or so. I'll work on it.
- I'm actually warming to the sports of the Winter Olympics (so hilarious). Every time I catch them on TV you can tell all of them require massive amounts of natural ability. And with some of the athletes being so young it makes their performances all the more impressive. It'd be a great experience for all of them, basically like heading to the World Cup.
- I've had some amazing food in the last week or so. Including (but not limited to) various seafood dishes and Chinese take out, and they've all been really good. One thing I have noticed is the quality of seafood over here, which I guess is obvious given Vancouver's proximity to fresh sources.
- There's a zip line heading right across Robson Square, and it's free. I've got to get on this thing before it goes, I'll never have such a convenient opportunity to recreate the opening scene from The Dark Knight.
- I'm only 10 days away from having 9 days off. YES.
- Most of you thought I was mistaken for a Rachel. Sorry to disappoint but it was Joe. I didn't even argue, I just went with it.
That felt much better. As I've said before I'm genuinely happy these days but I guess old habits die hard and my English nature requires me to complain every couple of weeks or so. I'll work on it.
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Ever had one of those nights where you can't sleep?
I have. I'm having one right now. That's why I'm sitting in a dark room with cold feet and a laptop that's running out of battery. "I know, I'll write the blog". And since there's been a departure from the usual bullet point style I thought I'd revisit it tonight. Screw fake New Year's Resolutions.
- People seem to be having an inordinate amount of trouble with my name. This has been happening all year, in addition to the poll answers on the right I've had Jeremy, Jesse and Jamie. I might just change my name to Bruce Wayne.
- The Olympic crowd hasn't hit the shop yet, thank God. They're about downtown but thankfully they're staying there so far. I don't know why I just said that, cast iron guarantee it'll be mental tomorrow now.
- The English crew here (Team Family) got together for the first time in a while, and possibly the last for a few weeks since everyone is working crazy-go-nuts hours for the next few weeks. Still, just over 2 weeks to go and then I have 9 days off. Awesome.
That's all I can think of. I'm still not tired but I think I'll give it another shot. I'm definitely cold, no question about that one.
- People seem to be having an inordinate amount of trouble with my name. This has been happening all year, in addition to the poll answers on the right I've had Jeremy, Jesse and Jamie. I might just change my name to Bruce Wayne.
- The Olympic crowd hasn't hit the shop yet, thank God. They're about downtown but thankfully they're staying there so far. I don't know why I just said that, cast iron guarantee it'll be mental tomorrow now.
- The English crew here (Team Family) got together for the first time in a while, and possibly the last for a few weeks since everyone is working crazy-go-nuts hours for the next few weeks. Still, just over 2 weeks to go and then I have 9 days off. Awesome.
That's all I can think of. I'm still not tired but I think I'll give it another shot. I'm definitely cold, no question about that one.
Saturday, 6 February 2010
I remember predicting this
It's coming. First it started with a 4 or 5 guys all wearing the same coloured puffy jacket. Then it was dozens of people walking around with their ridiculously oversized pass card proudly on display. Now it's hundreds of people, almost all with cameras and vacant expressions covering their permanently swivelling faces.
The Winter Olympics.
It's less than a week until the start and I've had enough already. I remember saying that I'd hate it and now I do. It's not just me either, I know of people who are staying indoors as much as possible throughout the entire thing. Let's not Go World. Let's not Go Canada. Let's Go Away.
I know what you're thinking, "Oh but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, it'll be great to be at the centre of something so exciting! All those athletes from nations all over the world! I'd love to be there!". Well you're wrong, it's not exciting. It's annoying. Imagine if you will your home town being inundated by thousands of tourists. Throw in that their conversation, and by extension the media's, is all about sports you don't care about and never will. Not that they're bad sports, you just don't like them. Add in live music which you don't care about. That is my Olympics.
Obviously this is me being a grumpy bastard again, it's like Christmas all over again. To be honest I'm not as annoyed as I make out, in fact I'm pretty happy these days. But I think of it like a really good meal you'd have in a restaurant. You like drinking the wine, you love eating the food. But you wouldn't want to be in the kitchen making it.
The Winter Olympics.
It's less than a week until the start and I've had enough already. I remember saying that I'd hate it and now I do. It's not just me either, I know of people who are staying indoors as much as possible throughout the entire thing. Let's not Go World. Let's not Go Canada. Let's Go Away.
I know what you're thinking, "Oh but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, it'll be great to be at the centre of something so exciting! All those athletes from nations all over the world! I'd love to be there!". Well you're wrong, it's not exciting. It's annoying. Imagine if you will your home town being inundated by thousands of tourists. Throw in that their conversation, and by extension the media's, is all about sports you don't care about and never will. Not that they're bad sports, you just don't like them. Add in live music which you don't care about. That is my Olympics.
Obviously this is me being a grumpy bastard again, it's like Christmas all over again. To be honest I'm not as annoyed as I make out, in fact I'm pretty happy these days. But I think of it like a really good meal you'd have in a restaurant. You like drinking the wine, you love eating the food. But you wouldn't want to be in the kitchen making it.
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Wish you were here?
It seems every time I call home people are never shy in letting me know that the UK is rubbish and I should think myself lucky I'm not there. I try to tell them that it's not that amazing over here, I mean it's pretty good but it's not like they have Match Of The Day. Or Top Gear. Maybe I just miss UK TV programmes and that's it. In fact I think that is it. I honestly think several of those people would appreciate the motherland more should they ever live in another country. Says the guy who would sell his game collection to stay in Canada. Well most of it. Not the Neo Geo Pocket Color stuff, that shit is bananas.
I'd love to say I have some highlights to put here but I really don't, the Slurm was the highlight of the week. Work is still dead, although the ridiculous decision to extend the mall hours means I'll have more late shifts starting next week. Seriously, who buys games at 8pm? I also walked over to North Vancouver and back to hit up the Wal-Mart in Capilano Mall. It was raining for the entire duration and reminded me of that day several months ago when I was doing much the same thing. Except I was jobhunting with no success, no waterproof coat, in uncomfortable shoes and feeling thoroughly depressed. I've come a long way.
I also discovered my parents have booked a cruise and will be away for 3 weeks shortly after I get back, allowing me to watch the World Cup in peace. And put all my stuff back in exactly the same place it was when I left, I don't care how long it takes. If I want to trip over boxes of DVDs and have to move my bed every time I want an item of clothing from my wardrobe, that's my choice.
I'd love to say I have some highlights to put here but I really don't, the Slurm was the highlight of the week. Work is still dead, although the ridiculous decision to extend the mall hours means I'll have more late shifts starting next week. Seriously, who buys games at 8pm? I also walked over to North Vancouver and back to hit up the Wal-Mart in Capilano Mall. It was raining for the entire duration and reminded me of that day several months ago when I was doing much the same thing. Except I was jobhunting with no success, no waterproof coat, in uncomfortable shoes and feeling thoroughly depressed. I've come a long way.
I also discovered my parents have booked a cruise and will be away for 3 weeks shortly after I get back, allowing me to watch the World Cup in peace. And put all my stuff back in exactly the same place it was when I left, I don't care how long it takes. If I want to trip over boxes of DVDs and have to move my bed every time I want an item of clothing from my wardrobe, that's my choice.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
My friends > my parents
Some of you may know I was wronged some months ago when a can of Slurm I had managed to find was stolen and consumed back in England. Several broken promises and remorseless months later and finally I have some form of retribution. Two co-workers took it upon themselves, unprompted, to help an English boy in need and this is what they came up with.
One refreshing can of Slurm. You should have seen my face when I unwrapped the box it came in. It was like seeing Rooney get that hat trick against Fenerbahçe on his debut. But what could be better than a can of Slurm?
TWO cans of Slurm, that's what."One to drink and one to keep". And I'm not even finished...
The pièce de résistance. Once again Nina and Kristel, thank you.
I don't mind naming and shaming since, as I said, there was a lack of remorse for the original wrongdoing. I realise I've lumped my mum in with the entry title as well which may be a tad harsh, but she should be supervising him better. Also they've shifted all the crap in my room around for basically no reason whatsoever. You know when you see parents on the news who have kept their child's room exactly the way it was when they left so if they come back it'll be like they never left? Why can't they do that? Just shut the door and leave it. Now I have to reorganise all those PS1 games I'll never play.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Assimilation
I didn't really notice it until recently but there are definite signs I'm ingraining myself in Canadian culture. I think it's a good thing, unless I go the whole way and lose my English identity. However I doubt that very much, I've yet to meet anyone else who uses the phrase 'bloody hell'. Some examples that I've noted in the last few weeks:
- On my way to the supermarket some Australian guys asked me where the IMAX theatre was. I said I wasn't sure, then inquired if they were looking to watch Avatar. They said yes and then for some reason I decided to give my opinion on the film and the price they would have to pay to watch it. I walked away wondering what I was playing at and I imagine the Australians wondered why English tourists are so opinionated.
- I pronounce words differently. Ad-dress instead of A-ddress for instance. Rout-er still sounds very wrong though.
- I use 'eh' at the end of sentences.
- I watched a hockey game the other day and wasn't bored out of my mind. I wasn't exactly entertained either, but it's progress.
The 'eh' one gets the most. I never thought I'd be doing that.
So other than that there's been a few films watched, a waitress telling me I eat really slowly and other people telling me I eat at Quiznos too often. I never got this hassle before. I've never known people get beef for having too many meal deals at Boots. But my eating habits being mocked aside, it's been a really good week.
- On my way to the supermarket some Australian guys asked me where the IMAX theatre was. I said I wasn't sure, then inquired if they were looking to watch Avatar. They said yes and then for some reason I decided to give my opinion on the film and the price they would have to pay to watch it. I walked away wondering what I was playing at and I imagine the Australians wondered why English tourists are so opinionated.
- I pronounce words differently. Ad-dress instead of A-ddress for instance. Rout-er still sounds very wrong though.
- I use 'eh' at the end of sentences.
- I watched a hockey game the other day and wasn't bored out of my mind. I wasn't exactly entertained either, but it's progress.
The 'eh' one gets the most. I never thought I'd be doing that.
So other than that there's been a few films watched, a waitress telling me I eat really slowly and other people telling me I eat at Quiznos too often. I never got this hassle before. I've never known people get beef for having too many meal deals at Boots. But my eating habits being mocked aside, it's been a really good week.
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Well I never
They say you never stop learning and that's definitely been the case over the last week. Before I go into the details I should preface it by saying almost nothing I've learnt over the last few days is likely to be of any use to me in future. Allow me to demonstrate:
- McDonald's do a crème brûlée McFlurry. My experience of crème brûlées is limited but I'm betting it bore little to no resemblance of that particular flavour. I also managed to confuse two separate employees when ordering it, in fact one of them even said "I have no idea what that is".
- A walk around the perimeter of Stanley Park is a hell of a lot colder in January than it is in August.
- Expressing myself without using bullet points is hard.
- Taking phone calls when I'm on a webcam chat is a bad idea.
- A banjo looks like a magnifying glass.
- Greg can say no to food. I know, I find this one hard to believe as well. Suddenly one evening whilst the four of us were enjoying a meal the one man food-o-matic turned down some burger in favour of a few salad scraps. Henry Jones Junior put it best: "You're insulting them and you're embarrassing me. Eat it."
- Most people think snow is crap.
It's been pretty slow at work recently but it's just the calm before the Olympic storm. I won't start talking about the Olympics though as that usually results in me swearing a lot. Spent some time re-watching classic films (that's right, Jingle All The Way is on that list) and catching up on some British culture in the form of old sitcoms. I've also caught myself thinking about when I come home, but almost immediately stopped myself. It's five months today but to honest I don't want to think about it. In fact, I don't even want to talk about it.
- McDonald's do a crème brûlée McFlurry. My experience of crème brûlées is limited but I'm betting it bore little to no resemblance of that particular flavour. I also managed to confuse two separate employees when ordering it, in fact one of them even said "I have no idea what that is".
- A walk around the perimeter of Stanley Park is a hell of a lot colder in January than it is in August.
- Expressing myself without using bullet points is hard.
- Taking phone calls when I'm on a webcam chat is a bad idea.
- A banjo looks like a magnifying glass.
- Greg can say no to food. I know, I find this one hard to believe as well. Suddenly one evening whilst the four of us were enjoying a meal the one man food-o-matic turned down some burger in favour of a few salad scraps. Henry Jones Junior put it best: "You're insulting them and you're embarrassing me. Eat it."
- Most people think snow is crap.
It's been pretty slow at work recently but it's just the calm before the Olympic storm. I won't start talking about the Olympics though as that usually results in me swearing a lot. Spent some time re-watching classic films (that's right, Jingle All The Way is on that list) and catching up on some British culture in the form of old sitcoms. I've also caught myself thinking about when I come home, but almost immediately stopped myself. It's five months today but to honest I don't want to think about it. In fact, I don't even want to talk about it.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Sometimes other people say it best
I've noticed over the last week or so that the things other people have been saying are far more interesting and funny than anything I've come out with. This is great as far as I'm concerned, although it's probably not good when something like this happens I automatically think "That'll be good for the blog". What I need now is to eavesdrop on conversations that involve topics for internet polls.
- During lunch, sitting near 3 of the most vacant individuals in Vancouver. Topics of conversation included: "Don't you hate it when you go to a restaurant and because of the food your face is all puffy the next day?" and "Oh my God I can't believe we're so similar again! We should definitely go through each other's closets one day and check what stuff we both own".
- When I suggested that a friend sometimes found it difficult to say no to members of the opposite sex: "I don't think it's that. I think I'm just really polite".
- Seeing dogs and cats in pens at a pet store. Me: "See that's why cats are better, everyone's watching them". Friend: "The dogs are playing as well, but they''re covered in their own saliva and urine".
- "Yeah I'd like to visit the UK. I want to go to Nottingham". Really?
- "Accents are awesome. Even Australian ones". Giving with one hand, taking away with the other. Thankfully this one was said in jest.
- "You must be drunk". I suggested to someone that Britney Spears was one of the best artists of the last decade. To be fair I was joking. She's more like top ten.
That's it, nothing else interesting happened. Look I work 5 days a week, I can't be entertaining all the time. I will get some more photos soon though, I think it's time. It shouldn't be too hard, I think there's some from Christmas kicking around. So I can relive that particular magic.
- During lunch, sitting near 3 of the most vacant individuals in Vancouver. Topics of conversation included: "Don't you hate it when you go to a restaurant and because of the food your face is all puffy the next day?" and "Oh my God I can't believe we're so similar again! We should definitely go through each other's closets one day and check what stuff we both own".
- When I suggested that a friend sometimes found it difficult to say no to members of the opposite sex: "I don't think it's that. I think I'm just really polite".
- Seeing dogs and cats in pens at a pet store. Me: "See that's why cats are better, everyone's watching them". Friend: "The dogs are playing as well, but they''re covered in their own saliva and urine".
- "Yeah I'd like to visit the UK. I want to go to Nottingham". Really?
- "Accents are awesome. Even Australian ones". Giving with one hand, taking away with the other. Thankfully this one was said in jest.
- "You must be drunk". I suggested to someone that Britney Spears was one of the best artists of the last decade. To be fair I was joking. She's more like top ten.
That's it, nothing else interesting happened. Look I work 5 days a week, I can't be entertaining all the time. I will get some more photos soon though, I think it's time. It shouldn't be too hard, I think there's some from Christmas kicking around. So I can relive that particular magic.
Monday, 4 January 2010
New Year's Resolutions
Actually I don't make New Year's resolutions. I mean who's thinking about them in June, let alone October or November? I also don't like to plan ahead, it makes life more exciting. Like relocating 5000 miles away for instance. But if I did make resolutions at this time of year, these are probably what they would be:
- Get a tattoo. Likely to be "I'm not Australian" on some prominent part of my body.
- Do some more travelling. I'd like to point out that travelling does include visits to Disney World and/or Disneyland.
-Buy fewer games. No point even trying with that one.
- Find a way of expressing myself that doesn't involve bullet points.
- Do more snowboarding. Woah, spilling over into things that might be actual resolutions here. Let's get back on track.
- Stop using internet speak, even in jest. It'll be hard, but I think it's possible. I'm fairly certain I didn't get an A-Level in English Literature so I could respond to an unfunny joke by saying 'lulz' out loud.
- Not buy a Batman suit. I think I've grown out of that one to be honest, no pun intended. Bit like a tiger that suit, it looks good but you wouldn't want to own one.
I like how I've labelled these as not actual resolutions, so any failure to comply is not really a failure, since they're not real. Like it matters either way.
I also had confirmation today that the guest blog entry (remember that?) is never going to be written. I can hardly say I'm surprised, apparently she "just wanted to win". But at what cost, Rosie? At what cost?
- Get a tattoo. Likely to be "I'm not Australian" on some prominent part of my body.
- Do some more travelling. I'd like to point out that travelling does include visits to Disney World and/or Disneyland.
-
- Find a way of expressing myself that doesn't involve bullet points.
- Do more snowboarding. Woah, spilling over into things that might be actual resolutions here. Let's get back on track.
- Stop using internet speak, even in jest. It'll be hard, but I think it's possible. I'm fairly certain I didn't get an A-Level in English Literature so I could respond to an unfunny joke by saying 'lulz' out loud.
- Not buy a Batman suit. I think I've grown out of that one to be honest, no pun intended. Bit like a tiger that suit, it looks good but you wouldn't want to own one.
I like how I've labelled these as not actual resolutions, so any failure to comply is not really a failure, since they're not real. Like it matters either way.
I also had confirmation today that the guest blog entry (remember that?) is never going to be written. I can hardly say I'm surprised, apparently she "just wanted to win". But at what cost, Rosie? At what cost?
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